Wacky Logos of the NL East

Whether it's a style from a bygone age or just a marketing scheme gone awry, baseball history is littered with odd logo choices. With the possible exception of recent expansion teams, almost every Major League ballclub has a bizarre logo or two hiding somewhere in their closets. I'm going to attempt to identify the weirdest logo from each franchise's history, dating back to the club's early history. Today I start with the National League East.

BRAVES

The Braves' laughing Indian head logo was a staple of the organization from the 1957 season in Milwaukee up until a 1990 redesign that emphasized the tomahawk logo. The Native American depicted in the logo is supposed to be screaming (presumably some sort of war chant), but appears to just be laughing hysterically. A recent attempt to revive the logo for an alternate batting practice hat was squashed by the team, after some criticism from Native American groups. The logo was dropped with good reason, not only is it a potentially insensitive caricature, it's also just plain weird looking. The logo looks more like a guy who belongs in Fishbone, than being the logo of a Major League Baseball franchise.

Marlins

Since the franchise dates back to just 1993, there were slim pickings when it came to the weirdest Marlins logo. Although the new logo is pretty weird, with it's oversized M and abstract Marlin, I decided to go with an alternate cap logo used from 1999 to 2002. What I find so strange about it was that the marlin wrapped around an F was the team's logo since inception, but they apparently felt they needed an alternate logo and went lazy by just swapping out the F for an M. They weren't even associated with Miami at the time, so it's apparently just a second reference in one logo to the team's nickname. Plus, I've always wondered in the marlin in the logo is supposed to be alive or stuffed, cause that is definitely a pose a taxidermist would give a dead fish.

Mets

What, you don't remember when the Mets moved to Mercury and changed their logo to some sort of pan-sexual gender sign? Well it happened for one night during baseball's ill-fated Turn Ahead the Clock promotion in 1999. For most teams the promotion meant sporting terrible uniforms such as these beauties, but for the Mets in meant a one night only complete rebranding. Everything about it is terrible. Mercury? Really the planet closest to the sun. I suppose it was used for alliteration purposes, but Mars would have at least made theoretical sense (colonies on Mars and such.) And why is there a picture of the moon? And the bizarre alien gender sign? So many questions. Too bad this horrible, horrible promotion only lasted one season.

Phillies

This Phillies logo used from 1970 through 1983 seems to be a scene from School House Rock, of two colonial-era children learning to play baseball. Presumably it's playing up Philadelphia's significance to the birth the U.S., but boy is it bizarre. Did any self-respecting adult in the Philadelphia area actually sport any merchandise with this logo? Was the Phillies management specifically targeting children who loved history? Are these kids time-travelers, hence their anachronistic playing of a game that had yet to be invented? 

Nationals/Expos

The Nationals/Expos franchise doesn't have much to work with, but I'm going with the traditional Expos logo, mostly because it confused the hell out of me as a kid. I seriously didn't realize for at least ten years that there was even an M in there. I always wondered what the hell "elb" stood for, but apparently it's an "e" for Expos, no "l' whatsoever, and a "b" for baseball. Twelve-year-old me would have been floored by this knowledge. In hindsight I think it's a pretty cool logo, but I think the brain trust behind the Expos may have gone a little two high concept. Although perhaps that was a calculated move to play up the whole World Expo thing.

Why Not Manny?

Let me start off by admitting that I am an unabashed Manny Ramirez fan, as much for helping to deliver two titles to the Red Sox, as the comedy gold he's wrought over the years. So the conceit of this post that a) he still has something to offer a team on the field and b) he wouldn't be a complete knucklehead, is admittedly pretty absurd. However, I'm not quite ready to lose Manny to Taiwan, so I'm going to attempt to shoehorn the mercurial 12-time All-Star onto some rosters.

Yankees 

The Yanks currently have brittle former Indian Travis Hafner penciled in at DH, and with the loss of Curtis Granderson for a month, the Bronx Bombers are in need of an extra outfielder. Sure by the time Manny actually gets in shape Granderson will be back, but he'll sell way more jerseys than whoever they throw out there. Plus, he can fill in at DH when Hafner inevitably goes down after the first month of the season. Would Joe Girardi stab him after about a week on the roster? Probably, but it would certainly lead to some snappy New York Daily News headlines.

Phillies

The Phillies are looking at some combo of Darin Ruf, Domonic Brown, John Mayberry Jr., and Delmon Young to patrol two outfield spots. Why not add a little Manny to the mix? He's probably in better shape than Delmon and can probably still get on base at a better clip than Brown or Mayberry. Would he be an absolute butcher in the outfield? You bet, but certainly the team responsible for signing Young can't be terribly worried about outfield defense.

Mets

The Mets need to make headlines this season and are also going into the year with an outfield that some pundits have actually considered calling the worst of all time. The solution to both problems: Manny. At the very least he'd be the first player to try to eat the giant apple in centerfield, which would be entertaining for all.

Orioles

Dan Duquette's biggest free agent signing of his career came when he lured Manny over to the Red Sox. Maybe he can recapture a little of the 2000's Sox magic (sure he got fired two year after signing Manny, but whateves) by bringing Manny on over to the O's. MLB Depth Charts tells me that the Orioles currently have a Wilson Betemit/Danny Valencia platoon penciled in at DH, so yeah, Manny could definitely be useful to that roster. Plus, Manny would've made a pretty awesome Wire character.

Blue Jays

If the Jays sign him he could become a Canadian citizen and recreate his famous American citizenship celebration. That's if he even realized he was in a different country. Plus, who wants to see Adam Lind at DH on that team anyway.

Marlins

Manny lives in the Miami area and the Marlins are gonna need to sell tickets after their latest fire sale fiasco. There's no way most people in Miami realize he hasn't been good in years and Jeffery Loria is certainly not above bamboozling his fan base.

Royals

Can't be any worse than Jeff Francoeur.

Diamondbacks

Kevin Towers seems intent on having an outfield logjam at all times, so go ahead an add Manny to it. Plus, you can tell him it's Mexico and watch with glee as he trots out to the field in a sombrero.

Indians

Just kidding Terry Francona.

Red Sox

Please...pretty please. At least give him one of those bullshit special assistant to the GM job, I just want Manny back in my life.